ROSE, IZZY, CAMILLA, AND one of the CHADs are sitting at McDs. The year is 2016. Madonna is on the charts, Prince is not so much, and a young nation looks to, I don’t know, LeBron James while sipping their diet cokes and eating fries with no ketchup, as they are watching their weight. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
IZZY: But that’s my whole *point*. None of it is real. It’s made up nonsense to keep us all in line!! It’s– <\/p>\n\n\n\n
ROSE: You actually gonna eat 4 cheeseburgers? Get some salad at least!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
CHAD: (finishes chewing). (big greasy grin)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IZZY: It’s “public relations”. Used to be called propaganda but they renamed it back when those Jekkyl Islanders were–<\/p>\n\n\n\n
CAMILLA: Girl, you be trippin’. Haha. And you ain’t even be trippin’, what you talkin’ about?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ROSE: I don’t feel that’s funny. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
CHAD: (*burp*) [Chad will later go on to chair the House Committee on Interfaith Ministries, 37 years later.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IZZY: It’s NOT funny, it’s serious stuff! Nothing you see on the “fake news” is real, in the bigger sense. Sure, they’ll tell you who got shot at school today, and what the weather might be this weekend, and Oceania has invaded their neighbors and so on, but it’s DISNEYLAND!! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
ROSE stares drolly: I meant I don’t think it’s funny acting all black. Appropriation. Live it. Love it. Learn it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
CHAD: Haha niggerbugger!!! Hahaha!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
IZZY screams Oh no you din’t and CAMILLA loudly exclaims nothing, gets up and storms out of the restaurant, if you can call it that, and ROSE looks at Chad hard. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
ROSE: You know, someday I’ll be driving my pimp ride into the mountains to go skiing with my rich and famous friends, and you’ll probably be serving me those fries at the drive-thru window. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
CHAD: (guffaws) (spits potato mash all over the table)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ROSE: Gross. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
IZZY: She has a point. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
CHAD stares blankly and then starts laughing again. It goes without saying, Chad likes beer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
IZZY: That’s why they made LSD illegal back in the 40s. It’s dangerous because it alters your DNA and makes you escape the mind-programming. I was reading about this guy Tom Lehrer — he’s like that actress, whatsername, Ricci? He’s her grandfather. Anyway–<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The teens look up as the door opens and in walks OFFICER DEAN. They exchange looks with each other and look down at their sad meals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
OFFICER DEAN: How you doin’ I’m gonna get the #9, super-sized, and an apple pie if you got ’em. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
NICK: What can I get you to drink? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
OFFICER DEAN: I’ll have a Sprite. Make that all to go, please. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
NICK: (thinks to himself, I better change my name and move to Hollywood, this town sucks ass.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The phone rings. It’s pretty important, better take this. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
ROSE, IZZY, CAMILLA, AND one of the CHADs are sitting at McDs. The year is 2016. Madonna is on the charts, Prince is not so much, and a young nation looks to, I don’t know, LeBron James while sipping their diet cokes and eating fries with no ketchup, as they are watching their weight. IZZY: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-279","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jasboy11.dreamhosters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jasboy11.dreamhosters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jasboy11.dreamhosters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jasboy11.dreamhosters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jasboy11.dreamhosters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=279"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jasboy11.dreamhosters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":280,"href":"https:\/\/jasboy11.dreamhosters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279\/revisions\/280"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jasboy11.dreamhosters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=279"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jasboy11.dreamhosters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=279"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jasboy11.dreamhosters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=279"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}